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At Home With Tom and Stacy McCarthy

The Rancho Santa Fe power couple puts wellness first

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Image Credits Photography by Vincent Knakal

Stacy McCarthy, an award-winning yoga and fitness expert, greets me not in her usual yoga attire, but in a stunning jumpsuit embellished with silver sequins. At the time of our interview and photo shoot, New Year’s Eve is just weeks away, and it seems only fitting to begin celebrating what we all hope will be a bright year ahead. And who better to profile in our first issue of 2023, with its theme of healthy living, than Stacy and her husband, Tom, a performance coach who works with CEOs and top athletes? The Rancho Santa Fe couple has long been at the forefront of health, wellness, and overcoming obstacles to inspire us to be our very best.

Stacy and Tom McCarthy at the entryway of their Rancho Santa Fe estate. Behind them is a fountain made from a 16th century limestone baptismal font. Yoga sculptures represent serenity and tranquility
Stacy and Tom McCarthy at the entryway of their Rancho Santa Fe estate. Behind them is a fountain made from a 16th century limestone baptismal font. Yoga sculptures represent serenity and tranquility

Over the past three decades, Stacy has taught thousands of students and mentored hundreds of teachers. In 2021, the IDEA Health & Fitness Association honored her with the prestigious “World Fitness Instructor of the Year” award for her “superior abilities as an instructor and for her positive influence on the global health and fitness industry.” Through her business, Yoga Namastacy, she has also developed a best-selling collection of online videos and books and has contributed her expertise at countless conferences. She’s recognized for her health and wellness coaching, yoga and mindfulness practices, and her belief in plant-based food. A former executive with local health clubs, she also serves as a consultant to yoga studios and fitness clubs.

Tom is a high-stakes performance coach who helps clients reach their full potential. He teaches those facing life’s challenges and conflicts how to break through barriers to achieve success and happiness. For the past 30 years, Tom has coached executives at Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs, athletes, and teams to perform at peak levels in high pressure situations. “People get stuck,” he says, “but I want them to understand there are no limits.” His second book, The Breakthrough Code: A Story About Living a Life Without Limits, teaches readers how to overcome self-limiting beliefs to fulfill your life’s purpose.

 The dining room, crowned with antique French chandeliers, is set for a festive party to celebrate the New Year
The dining room, crowned with antique French chandeliers, is set for a festive party to celebrate the New Year

While most of his work is in the corporate arena, Tom also enjoys coaching athletes, including members of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team, on the mental aspects of their performance. “I believe that the mental part of the game is responsible for 80 percent of an athlete’s performance. I help them to see, feel, and believe in the result before it ever happens. I tell them that everything is created twice, first inside the mind and then in the outside world. When you do the work on the inside, your chances of seeing the results on the outside go way up,” he says. 

Tom is often mistaken for actor Matt Damon in airports and sporting events. He once had to hide out in a parking lot after their son, Tommy’s, basketball game in Boston when word erroneously spread that Damon was in the arena. Tommy, now 26, was a top-ranked player in high school and played point guard at both Harvard and Rice universities. Now in Los Angeles, he is CEO of Endow, a tech startup focusing on education and finance.

The couple’s 29-year-old daughter, Kylie, was a Parade magazine All-American soccer player who, as a member of the UCLA soccer team, won a national championship in 2013. After five years in private equity, specializing in acquiring commercial real estate, she is now developing Little Pipers Ranch, an eco-conscious luxury resort in Joshua Tree set to open in 2023. 

The family’s spacious 10,000-square-foot home, set on nearly four acres off a winding road in Rancho Santa Fe, includes a swimming pool, tennis and pickleball courts, plenty of space for entertainment, and Stacy’s “sacred place,” a small yoga studio where she teaches online classes and training. “As challenging as the pandemic was for so many businesses, it gave me the opportunity to step forward into growth by creating an online platform,” she says. “Like anything new, the learning curve, especially all the technology, was challenging. I remember I was scheduled to teach in person in Bangkok and before I knew it, I was teaching at 11pm online to students in Asia. Having taught classes since the days of popping a cassette tape in a janky boom box wearing a leotard to teaching on a screen in my room across the world is absolutely thrilling.”

Tom’s favorite room is his spacious office, which also became a set for his many Zoom coaching and training sessions around the world during the pandemic. Before the pandemic, he logged more than a million miles on one airline alone. As the world has opened up, he has resumed travel, although not as much, averaging about ten days a month.

Stacy and Kylie love the expansive kitchen with custom cabinets, a granite island, and lots of bells and whistles. The family is committed to organic, vegan, plant-based foods, so the blender is at the ready for healthy smoothies in the morning and there is always a big green salad in the fridge. “We are a ‘plant passionate’ family and our daughter, Kylie, and I love creating culinary superfood creations,” says Stacy. “We share these in my newsletter and on social media hoping it will inspire others to add greens and natural foods to their meals. We soak, sprout, and squeeze our own nut milks, make our own juices, and eat seasonally as much as possible. However, we are not fanatical and know that everyone is on their own journey to find what makes them feel their best.”

The kitchen is a favorite family spot for preparing healthy, plant-based meals. It features Italian tile, a fireplace, and top-end appliances
The kitchen is a favorite family spot for preparing healthy, plant-based meals. It features Italian tile, a fireplace, and top-end appliances

The family is also committed to making health, wellness, and fitness a priority in their lives. “This may sound funny, but I have a routine I created of simple yoga poses I do before getting out of bed,” says Stacy. “I meditate every morning before I start the day and every evening before going to sleep. I have been practicing yoga six days a week and meditation seven days a week for almost 30 years, so at this point it’s like brushing my teeth.”

The light-filled yoga room is Stacy’s “sacred place” where she practices yoga and teaches online classes around the world
The light-filled yoga room is Stacy’s “sacred place” where she practices yoga and teaches online classes around the world

Tom, too, has daily rituals, beginning with mediation, yoga, and qigong, a Chinese system of exercise involving controlled breathing, gentle movements, and focused attention. “Earlier in my life I would try to fit exercise in and that didn’t always work. Now, I make it my number one priority,” he says. “I do believe that I will live a long and healthy life, but I’m not leaving it to chance. I put in the work to make that a reality. By making my health and wellness a priority, I’ve also noticed that while I may not work as many hours, the quality of my work and the results I generate are greatly enhanced.”

“Just like you have systems for your work environment, we have systems around what I call ‘Mastering the Big 3: How you move, how you eat, and how you think,’ says Stacy. When we come consciously to our habits of movement, consumption, and thought, we are addressing the wholeness of our health of mind, body, and spirit. We have morning and evening practices to start and end our day with powerful thoughts and emotions.”

The foyer, centered with a stone fireplace, includes a chic, comfortable seating area. Flooring throughout the house is crafted of tumbled limestone from France
The foyer, centered with a stone fireplace, includes a chic, comfortable seating area. Flooring throughout the house is crafted of tumbled limestone from France

When asked about their resolutions for the new year, Tom says, “I don’t think we are ever a finished product and I’m resolved to make sure I end 2023 healthier, happier, and better than I am in 2022. Every day I dive into myself to see what old disempowering beliefs, stories, or experiences I can let go of in order to become a better version of myself.”

Stacy notes that most people fail to follow through on resolutions. “That’s why we suggest getting rid of your resolutions all together, and instead look at the daily habits and thoughts that make up your life,” she says. “We practice daily rituals, which transforms your unconscious habits into conscious, meaningful rituals. When we work to bring our best self with full intention into the day-to-day patterns that shape our lives, we transform who we are from the inside out. It’s a holistic approach organized to balance your lifestyle by refining your physical practice, diet, and quality of mind. By balancing these areas of our lives, we are creating a sustainable lifestyle and ensuring long-term success in meeting our goals — whether it be a stronger body, more peace of mind, or greater ease of being.”

The couple also believes in giving back. Tom’s father, a U.S. Army captain and West Point Military Academy graduate, died in Vietnam when Tom was three years old. His younger brothers were just two years and six months old. His mother raised her three sons alone. “We had a lot of love, but very little money,” Tom recalls. That experience led him to support Folded Flag Foundation, an organization that provides scholarships for the children of those who have lost their lives while serving in the military, as well as grants for spouses. He also supports Feeding America, a nonprofit working to end hunger in the United States.

The terrace has a pizza oven, fireplace, and barbeque with plenty of room for entertaining
The terrace has a pizza oven, fireplace, and barbeque with plenty of room for entertaining

Stacy’s love of animals led her to teach “Doga Yoga” events to raise awareness and funds for no-kill animal shelters. In 2015, she partnered with the Humane Society and Leash your Fitness to set a Guinness World Record for the biggest “Dogi and their Yogis” charity event.

Her father died of diabetes, so for years Stacy collaborated with City of Hope to provide yoga and meditation free of charge to patients suffering from life-threatening illnesses.  She was also involved with “Yoga for Hope,” the largest yoga fundraiser in Southern California, which drew 1,000 people to Petco Park’s centerfield grass to raise funds and awareness about the benefits of yoga in the healing process.

What advice do the McCarthys have for living healthier, happier lives in the New Year? 

While healthy eating and exercise is important to take care of our bodies, says Tom, it is just as important to develop our minds. “A powerful mind will have a huge influence on your health, your wealth, your happiness, and every other area of your life,” he imparts.

Adds Stacy, “From my Swedish ancestry, this proverb has always worked for me: Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.” yoganamastacy.com, tommcmarthy.com, thebreakthroughcode.com

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