How the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Rady Children’s Hospital gave one local family hope

As any parent knows, the learning curve with a firstborn child can often feel pretty vertical. But for Nick and Darlene (Dar) Abrams, the birth of their son, Owen, in the 25th week of Dar’s pregnancy — around the very earliest gestational age that an infant is medically deemed potentially able to survive out of the womb — presented challenges they could never have prepared for. After five months in a neonatal intensive care unit, Owen finally came home. However, a common cold shortly thereafter that would mean sniffles for most babies was life-threatening for Owen’s still underdeveloped lungs, and baby Owen, Nick, and Dar found themselves in the most unimaginable of circumstances, but in the best possible hands: the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) at Rady Children’s Hospital – San Diego. 

At the time, Nick and Dar could never have imagined that this would commence a stay in the PICU that would last 784 days and bring with it a tracheostomy, long-term ventilator dependence, and countless complications and setbacks. Far from the norm, the 24-bed PICU, part of the hospital’s trauma center, acts as a first responder, offering acute care for critically ill or injured children who are generally there for a matter of days before they transition to a different level of care. “I think if anyone would have said, ‘Oh, you’re in for a big life change, like a ‘the rest of your life’ change, I would have been like, ‘No, I’m gonna run away now, this is too much’” says Dar. “Every day, we were there looking both at the immediate [moment] and the horizon, thinking, ‘We just have to get through today.’”

The couple let Owen’s indomitable spirit guide them. “We had the mindset of, ‘If he keeps fighting, we’ll keep fighting,’” remembers Nick. That fight also drove and challenged the team at the Rady Children’s Hospital PICU, who were unaccustomed to the unique situation that Owen’s medical conditions and long-term stay presented. “We forced them into this whole different scenario, because, for lack of better terms, he wasn’t dying and he kept fighting,” says Dar. “It became this full team experience with them drawing in from other disciplines like pulmonary and cardiology, being like, ‘You guys are specialists in this area, come and help us solve this problem. The parents are in, the kid is in, let’s do this.’ Having them circle the wagons around us and use their expertise to fight with us was empowering.”

Over the course of Owen’s stay, Dar says that the team in the PICU tried new or alternative options to treat him when the traditional methods proved unsuccessful, some of which ultimately reshaped how they treat future patients. “There were so many doctors that would tell us, ‘The science is an art.’ Yes, they use evidence to move forward in a lot of the typical [circumstances], but then with outliers like Owen and other kids who are outliers, they have to take the book and be like, ‘This is what the book says, but this is what this kid is doing. How do we use our expertise along with what he’s doing to get him to the path we want to see him go on?’” says Dar. “It was just incredible for them to use the ‘by the book’ things, but then also be ready to pivot.”

This year, all proceeds from the 116th annual Charity Ball, an enduring anchor of San Diego’s philanthropic landscape since 1909, will benefit Rady Children’s Hospital – San Diego’s pediatric intensive care unit — the PICU that, along with his own fighting spirit and the boundless love and determination of his parents, gave Owen, now a smiling, happy nine-year-old who breathes unassisted, a future that was at times uncertain. “Even though there’s [still] a lot of challenges, we kind of see this bonus — he shouldn’t even be here,” says Nick of appreciating all that they have been given with Owen. “They’re like, ‘He’s a one out of 100 once every ten years’ type of person.’ So yeah, I think it’s his fight, and we decided to keep showing up every day and fighting with him. And the PICU made that possible.”

“[The PICU] really treated them like family. They cared for their emotional well-being, and obviously physical well-being, but really connected with them like a family. That’s pretty unique,” says Olin of Nick, Dar, and Owen’s experience. “The more I learned about the PICU and heard about other, very compelling stories of patients and families, it became very clear to me that this was a program that really should be highlighted for the community to know more about and for us to thank them for what they do for the patients in San Diego County.”

Nick, who’ll attend the Charity Ball with Dar, is grateful that sharing Owen’s story will help other families like theirs. “It’s amazing for us to know that Owen’s journey is now going to bring resources to the PICU, because we know they’re going to do incredibly impactful work for people in the hardest situations,” he says. 

The Charity Ball will take place February 8 at Hotel del Coronado. Tickets are available at radyfoundation.org/event/charity-ball.