Discover the ultimate wellness escape in Scottsdale, Arizona

What happens to you after four straight days of spa services? You could go soft. Or, daily massage might make your muscles, skeleton, and lymphatic system exponentially stronger.

This is what I intended to find out in Scottdale, Arizona. Beforehand, I was a tad perplexed. I’m just an occasional spa guy. A massage is a welcome treat but afterward I can’t wait to wash off oily salves. Not the same story for my wife, Jules. She would gladly volunteer for 40 days of spa treatments and enjoy the smell of sage, juniper, and cedar on her body 24/7.   

With more than 50 luxury resorts and day spas, Scottsdale is unofficially considered the spa capital of the United States. Good thing spa-hopping is an indoor activity. In the summer of 2024, Scottsdale experienced 113 straight days of triple-digit temperatures. Serendipitously, we arrived on September 17, the day the streak ended. Locals unanimously reminded us how lovely it was to live in a low-90s world. (In late fall and winter, Scottsdale daily highs fall to the mid-70s and upper-60s.) 

Appropriately, we dressed lightly for everything — spa visits, excellent Old Town dinner spots, and a couple highly recommended non-spa stops. I’m trumpeting the highly impressive Musical Instrument Museum. It’s a world-class museum with 15,000 instruments, international displays, and a floor full of exhibits featuring American musical legends ranging from Johnny Cash to Taylor Swift. It’s enthralling. Also, if you’re brave, buckle up for a three-hour Desert Wolf Tour. It’s a challenging, wildly invigorating, self-driven guided tour of the Sonoran Desert in a military-grade dune buggy. After the excursion, you’ll be proud of yourself — and ready for a massage.  

Quick fun fact: Scottsdale is a test market for driverless rideshares. One night, we opted out of Uber and chose a Waymo. These all-electric Jaguar I-PACE cars have no human being behind the steering wheel. Completing an uneventful driverless car ride made us minor celebrities in the porte cochère when we arrived at our hotel.  

In the 1950s, Hotel Valley Ho was a hideaway for Hollywood celebs like Bing Crosby, Tony Curtis, and Zsa Zsa Gabor. The 241-room property was recently restored to yesteryear splendor. Its splashy colors, straight lines, and right angles are an eye-catching example of mid-century modern architecture.

Groovy tunes greeted us in the lobby. Inside our suite, I immediately connected my Spotify to an in-room speaker. We cranked up the Austin Powers soundtrack (Yeah, baby!) and imagined we were on the set in an episode of I Dream Of Jeannie. The suite, with full kitchen, Terrazzo tile bathroom (equipped with washer/dryer), lounge area, and balcony that overlooked the property’s OHasis pool, was both comfy-cozy and historically hip.

Hotel Valley Ho is conveniently located near all the Old Town eateries. FnB, for example, is home to Charleen Badman, the James Beard Foundation’s 2019 Best Chef: Southwest. Her locally sourced menu is highly vegetable-forward. One amazing example of Badman’s veggie delights is the delicata squash stuffed with goat cheese, pecans, breadcrumbs, and honey. Beginner’s Luck, a charming and new indoor-outdoor spot, serves up good things like the Not Quite A Cubano, with super-slow roasted pork, chicharron, an abundance of pickles, and strips of bacon that overflow a Cuban roll. And at Sel, my wife and I shared two masterfully grilled entrees: Alaskan halibut over BBQ squash purée, which commingled wonderfully with the Spanish octopus paired with squid ink capellini. Under coercion, we capped that meal off with an award-winning (rightfully so) strawberry marzipan shortcake.

Our spa-tacular adventure started soon after our arrival at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. My initial plan was to rank the spas, but you know which treatment is the best? The last one you had. Suffice it to say, we had four exceptional visits. Though, there were two sad twists at every spa: 1. The point when your masseuse tells you to turn over (signifying it’s half over). 2. The moment you’re fully intoxicated by expert human kneading, your soul is entering Nirvana, and you hear those final words, “I’ll be waiting outside the door with some water.”

We paired a meal with all the treatments. The pampering began at the Spanish-inspired Royal Palms Resort & Spa (Alvadora Spa), where I enjoyed a firm Royal Massage while Jules went for the Desert Sage Salt Massage with Himalayan pink salt stones that are promised to alkalize your skin. For lunch, we savored Mediterranean-inspired salads at the elegant T. Cook’s. 

At the JW Marriott Scottsdale Camelback Inn Resort & Spa, the wellness facility has 30 treatment rooms. My Swedish Massage further released muscle tension. Jules had an Aromatherapy Massage. For lunch at the lovely Rita’s Cantina & Bar, we started with margaritas, had delish entrees, and ended with a huge, collar-shaped churro that could fit around a horse’s neck, accompanied by chocolate dipping sauce. (Tip: A masseuse advised us to eat after a treatment, but never come into a spa so hungry you’re only thinking about your next meal.)

My masseuse at Valley Ho’s VH Spa was the strongest woman I’ve ever shaken hands with. During a Deep Tissue Massage, I had to do the masculine unthinkable and ask for less pressure. She abided, and when it was over I genuinely felt like a new man. Jules underwent a Rock n Roll Massage. No, not with rock music, rather, aided by hot basalt stones and warmed birchwood sticks. On the subject of spa music, I noted how the background ambiance came in all forms — from pan flute to piano chords to Native American chants. 

A super lunch preceded treatments at The Phoenician luxury resort: flatbread pizza at the gorgeous and airy Mowry & Cotton. Then it was on to the enormous, stand-alone, three-story Phoenician Spa. The edifice is a five-star monument to well-being. My Artisan Massage was over too quickly. Jules got a Personal Remedy Facial, with customized exfoliation and a brushed-on cooling masque. 

At the Phoenician Spa, I asked and was informed it takes 1,000 hours of training to become a masseuse. After four hours over four days of wonderful massage treatments, I reached a conclusion: I’m ready to be a regular spa guy. And, willing to donate my body for 996 more hours to any future Scottsdale spa therapists-to-be.